What Would You Name?

A story in our community magazine this month featured a man who had an asteroid named after him. That got me thinking – if you could have anything named for you – what would you name?

Certainly not an asteroid. I wouldn’t want a big space rock, possibly the asteroid that would blow up the Earth, to be named after me. “The Sue Leonard asteroid will be here in two days – it will be the end of the world as we know it.”

Hubby pointed out the asteroid is probably in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, so it’s not likely to come toward the Earth. (1) But I heard space is expanding, so maybe space would get so fat the belt would burst spewing asteroids everywhere.

That also got me wondering, Is it cheaper to name an asteroid than a star? It appears you have to discover an asteroid to name it. (2) That would be quite a task – how would you know out of the millions of asteroids that had been discovered which ones hadn’t been named?

Stars seem to be easier to name. Just go to one of several websites and buy a package for $45 - $115, but you have to pay extra for a bright or extra-bright star, e.g., one that you can actually see. (4) I wondered what a profit-making opportunity it would be to sell names for space stuff. Selling star names seems like a bit iffy to me. Turns out, it is.

Almanac.com says, “No, star names cannot be sold... You’re not supposed to sell something you don’t own.” (5) Who owns stars anyway?

While they don’t own stars, only the International Astronomical Union officially names stars. Some stars have names passed down through the ages. Most stars named by the IAU simply have numbers and coordinates. The IAU hasn’t taken on any new names for stars for years and probably won’t again.

According to Almanac.com “The reason star-naming businesses beat the rap is that there is no law against renaming anything, as long as you avoid trademarks or celebrity names. In short, it’s a novelty gift. No harm. After all, you do receive a thoughtful gift from a well-intentioned loved one. If you’re indeed starry-eyed, this is a gift that encourages us all to look up at the beautiful night sky and that’s a good thing. However, Instead of buying a star, it might be better to adopt a star (6) with a non-profit that gives the money to research.”

I decided to ask my friends, “If you could have anything named for you – what would it be? The more whimsical the better.”

It is a difficult question to answer – whimsical or not. I’ve been thinking of my answer and I still haven’t come up with anything. Thinking about serious things, I thought of animal-related things: A wildlife rescue center or an animal shelter. Maybe something related to a lifelong hobby – but I’m more of a dabbler. I rotate through a lot of hobbies.

Then I thought about my name. Sue Leonard – a very plain name (but not as plain as my maiden name – Johnson). The thought of a Sue Leonard asteroid, star, or pet shelter seemed silly. I’d rather see it named something descriptive, flashy, or heartwarming. The Galaxy Guardian Asteroid; the Luminous Lovebeam Star; or the Fluffy Friends Retreat (I confess I got these ideas from ChatGPT, an AI language generator).

So here’s how some of my friends answered.

Annie, an avid biker, answered, “A Bicycle..of course!!! Along with a trail to ride!!!” She also noted, “After a summer like this one when I have discovered that all my friends got OLD it’s been sobering to think of how one would like to be remembered.” How true, Annie, but from now on each bike I see will have your name. But I always think energetic, bubbly, loving hostess when I think of you. Annie also would like a wine and cheese celebration of life! I think we need to do that while she's still with us.

The Annie Bike

Neighbor Joan said, “A vodka cocktail.” I’m not sure what she’d put in it but I know she loves Tito’s vodka. If I were making a Joanie cocktail, I’d put pineapple and coconut in it, but then it wouldn’t be a Joanie vodka cocktail.

Next on the menu is a Fraser Burger: a bison (low-fat) burger on a toasted sourdough bun with smoked cheddar, grilled onions, tomato, and lettuce with a garlic sauce. On a more serious note, Fraser said he'd like a hurricane prevention device to save lives and property damage and help people live in tropical climates without fear. I know the people in our area would love that.

After a few days of thinking I’ve come up with a couple of things. I love to dance and laugh. The dance: The Leonard Hurt Hip Shuffle; and a laugh: The Leonard corny blog chortle.

Put your thoughts about what you might like named after you in the comments.

And if you get a Sue Leonard Corny Blog Chortle from any of my blogs please pass it on to your friends by:

• Clicking the Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest icon at the top of the page

• Clicking the link icon at the bottom of the page and copying the link into an email.

• Forwarding my email to them.

Thanks and Happy Labor Day!

References

1. Asteroids, Nasa.org,

2. Marina Koren, How to Get an Asteriod Named After You: The Rules behind the naming rights of Cosmic Rocks, theatlantic.com, July 1 2017

3. Brett Tingley, What's it like to have an asteroid named after you? , space,com, July 18, 2023

4. Buy a star online and get a star certificate,

5. Bob Berman, The Business of Buying a Star, Almanac.com, April 4, 2023

6. An Everlasting Gift, adoptastar.org