Sometimes I feel like the Pete Seeger song, “My get up and go has got up and gone.” (1) I don’t seem to have the motivation to do things I know I should be doing.
It seems it’s harder to do everything nowadays. Even simple things like getting out of the chair can be a chore and once I’m up it takes several steps before my legs don’t feel like concrete blocks. My body doesn’t have the muscle and flexibility that it once had. Part of that’s my fault. I don’t exercise as much as I used to.
When it’s time to exercise, my dreary inner voice says, “You’re too tired. You’re too old to push that hard. You have too many other things to do today, you can exercise tomorrow.” My driving inner voice says, “Oh, come on, you know you should do it. Think of how good you feel when you keep up with your exercise.” Often my driving inner voice is weak and my dreary inner voice wins.
What do you say when you talk to yourself? Is it mostly dreary or mostly driving? Behavioral researcher Shad Helmstetter, PhD. says which voice you listen to are based on your beliefs.
Our beliefs about aging started forming when we were young. We watched our parents age and listened to what they said about aging. The media is full of beliefs about aging. My earlier blog, What Does Elderly Mean to You?, noted that often the media uses the term elderly when they report stupid accidents or people who have lost some of their capabilities. The cover of the July issue Prevention magazine features, “Get Fit at Any Age: 30, 40, 50.” Why did they list just those decades? It implies that we should forget getting fit if we are 60, 70, 80 or 90.
Do I really believe aging entails slowing down? My mother believed she had earned retirement and decided to really retire – retire in front of the TV set all day. I watched her slowly lose her capability to get out and do things, then to do things at home, then to get out of her chair. It scares me.
I’m lucky. Many of my friends give me positive messages about aging. They ignore the dreary messages they get from their past, the media, their friends. I recently talked to a long-time 74-year-old friend who just finished a walking tour of the Cotswold’s in England. She’s continued with Aikido most of her adult life. Another friend in her 80s still bikes over 20 miles at a time with her biking group. My cooking club friends walk 2–3-miles almost every morning – even in Canada in April (ok, not in January, but I bet they would if they were there in January.) And there’s my 96-year-old hero that plays a mean game of tennis and dances at our community events.
Do you believe your body naturally slows down when you’re aging or that you can beat the odds by staying fit and active? Or something in between?
In What to Say When you Talk to Yourself, Helmstetter describes four types of Self Talk. (2) The first type (acceptance – “I am like this”) and second type (recognition of the need to change - “I should do this”) are akin to my dreary voice. Level three (decision to change – “I no longer…” , and level 4 (the level of the better you – “I am a person who exercises regularly”) are like my driving voice.
But, for me, the type of self talk seems to be only part of it. When I was working, I didn’t have time to listen to that inner voice. My life was programmed. Get up, exercise, go to work… The inner voice didn’t speak as much. I just did went through my daily routine. So, is retirement the problem? Do I need to go back to work? Or do I need to just need to get a fixed routine?
Mental health experts say routines promote mental, physical and emotional health. (3) (4) So good. I don’t need to get a job. I just need to get a routine. And say to myself, “I am a person who follows my schedule.”
And I need to quit singing, “My Get Up and Go has Got Up and Gone.” Oh, sorry Helmstetter, I am a person who no longer sings …
References
Pete Seeger https://www.bluegrasslyrics.com/song/my-get-up-and-go-has-got-up-and-went/ . It’s a cute song – click on the link to see they lyrics.
Shad Helmstetter, What to Say When you Talk to Yourself, Park Avenue Press, June 2011 (note: this is available as an Amazon Kindle book for $.99.
Health Benefits of Having a Routine, Northwestern Health, 2022.
Marianna Plata, The Power of Routines in Your Mental Health, Psychology Today, October 4, 2018.
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