I hate the word elderly. To me it seems like people use it to mean feeble, forgetful and frumpy. Newscasters seem to use it when they want to separate seniors from the rest of the population, usually to highlight something stupid: “elderly man plows through the Starbucks storefront window.” As a side note: Despite the general idea that elderly people cause the most car accidents, statistically, younger drivers cause twice as many accidents as older drivers. (1)
Speaking of driving and age, I was shocked to see my Florida driver’s license doesn’t have to be renewed for 8 years. I’ll be 83 then. In Illinois people 81 through 86 must renew their license every two years. And drivers age 87 and older must renew their licenses every year. Let’s face it, as we age, physical problems reduce our ability to drive well. We get vision problems and our reflexes are slower. A number one concern as we age is losing our ability to drive and, with that, much of our freedom. But that’s a topic for another day.
Many shows distort the image of the elderly. A TV show recently showed a group of women that looked like grandmothers in the 1940s with housedresses, old hats, and crackling voices humming Hot Blooded by Foreigner while ogling over a young man. Hot Blooded was popular in 1978. If you were a teenager in 1978, you’d only be in your early 60s. Even people my age don’t look and talk like that.
Hell's Grannies (Monty Python) - couldn't find a good granny pic
With my distaste for the use of the word elderly, I was surprised to find my feelings about that word were not shared by most people. When I took a poll at our building’s dinner party, seven out of ten didn’t object to the term or to being called elderly. Some of them didn’t see themselves as elderly. I was the youngest person at the table – if only by a year. One woman thought it was a badge of honor. One person said, “they changed the name of Elderhostel to Road Scholar. They dropped the term elder, so it must have turned some people off.”
Throughout the week I continued to ask friends what they thought of the term elderly. Our card-playing group joked that we used to have season tickets to plays and concerts at night. “We don’t go out at night much anymore. Maybe that’s one sign we are elderly.” But that group decided elderly means anyone 10 years older than any of our friends. My favorite answer from a friend was, “I think it has to do with capabilities. I know people in their 90s who play tennis, ride 50 miles on their bikes, and could beat anyone in trivia contests. I wouldn’t call them elderly.”
Just what does elderly mean? Some people define it by age. The National Institute of Health defines elderly as people 65 or older. Newscasters, on the other hand, set the bar far lower; I’ve heard news anchors call people 60, or even 55, elderly.
Native American cultures, see aging as positive. The term elder comes with the idea of wisdom that comes with age. Oxford Languages (the online Oxford dictionary) defines elderly simply as “old or aging.” Merriam-Webster says “rather old; especially past middle age”. For synonyms, I liked aging, older, and senior. I got a kick out of the synonym “unyoung.” And I had to look up one synonym of elderly - senescence (the process of deterioration with age – ugh – I won’t be using that word). I didn’t like the synonyms “ancient, geriatric, and over-the-hill.”(2). The antonym of elderly is youthful, so is “youthful elderly person” an oxymoron?
There’s no doubt we go through changes when we get older. As we age, we experience age-related declines in sight, hearing, muscles, balance, and memory. The list goes on. Any one of these, or a combination of these, can limit what we can do in life. But these limitations don’t have to stop us. We can move the book closer when we read or get stronger reading glasses. We can take balance classes and/or use walking aids. Experts say we can do things to minimize memory loss associated with aging: socializing, physical activity, and sleep. I play games like Peak and Lumosity that supposedly increase mental agility, focus, and memory. I don’t know if they work, but it makes me feel like I’m doing something good.
Some age-related changes come suddenly: Falls or sudden age-related illness. For those we may need medical assistance or therapy.
Despite the possible negative connotations, we are lucky to live in an era where age doesn’t limit what we can do. I have friends who continue to work in their 90s. In many professions, we are no longer shunned if we want to seek employment. Companies value us for our reliability, wisdom, and communication skills (we can write and talk).
We see celebrities like Rita Moreno (90) and Mick Jagger (79) dance across the stage as if they were 40 (or 20, in the case of Jagger). We see actors like William Shatner (92 – acting and doing voiceovers) and Clint Eastwood (92 – still acting and directing). The list goes on.
And even people with age-related disabilities still lead active lives. My 89-year-old neighbor has macular degeneration and she still plays golf with the ‘seeing’ aid of her friends, and uses enlarging lenses for her computer and other reading to keep up with her many club activities in our community.
Still Dancing - Rita Morena and Mick Jagger (after heart surgery)
Pondering the term elderly this week, I don’t hate it like I used to. I still hate when it stereotypes all older people as less capable. I’m proud to be in a community with active, stylish, and wise people, some of whom have lost some of their abilities – but all of whom are living life as fully as they can.
Don’t even get me started on OK Boomer.
References
1 David S. Loughran, Seth A. Seabury, Laura Zakaras, What Risks Do Older Drivers Pose to Traffic Safety?, Rand Corporation, 2007.
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