Our recliners are getting to be a pain in the butt. Literally. After all these years of casual comfort, our stylish Stressless recliners that suited us in our 40s-60s are butt-numbing contraptions. They're putting so much pressure in all the wrong places, causing hip and leg woes like nobody's business. In those decades we’ve lost our built-in bum cushioning and muscle.
So we are on a mission to buy new recliners. In the 80s, style was king and we bought sleek, Stressless recliners to blend with our Scandinavian mid-century modern decor. Now comfort reigns supreme at our home.
I peeked at recliner prices online and nearly fell off my rocker! Without all the bells and whistles like massage and heat, they're demanding a fortune, way more than my first set of wheels—a sweet '67 Camaro Rally Sport. (1) Nowadays, even a basic Camaro feels like buying a small house!
When we were first married our in-laws gave us $100 for Christmas. We thought we were rich. Since our furnishings were sparse, a day bed couch, a rocker from my parents, and end tables made from boxes we decided to buy some furniture. We bought a recliner. It was boxy but served the purpose.
At today’s recliner prices, I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake. What if I spend thousands on ONE chair and it doesn’t solve my butt problem. Can I get my money back?
I Googled for suggestions on types of chairs for people with butt pain. The results were underwhelming. Google Kim Kardashian’s butt and you get thousands of hits. Apparently, celebrity’s butts are more popular with the Google population than butt pain.
The best advice came on LinkedIn from an Asian woman. (2) The language was a bit strange,
When people get older, its human physiological function will gradually decline, as well as athletic performance & sensory faunction. There will be also more frequent occurrence of cervical and lumbar spondylosis. Therefore, it must be more pickier for the elderly choose a sofa chair.”
At least I could understand it enough to figure out ‘the reclining angle should be large with an inclination angle of 125⁰- 135⁰’ so I’d better take my protractor with me. The seat should be 18-23” deep, so I’ll also need my measuring tape.
Then there are the features to worry about. While I don’t need a power lift right now, should I get one in case I need it later or will the chair wear out before I need lift help? What about massage? That might make my hip feel better. And heat? I’m always cold, the idea of a heated chair sounds nice.
Since I have to sit in the chair for a while before my butt hurts, I might have to camp out at the furniture store to test each chair. I’ll take my knitting with me so I won’t get bored while I sit. Salesmen and customers might get annoyed at a grey hair camping out on their recliners, so maybe I’ll wear a disguise so no one would recognize me.
I wish there were a recliner fairy who would wave her wand and find me the perfect chair. I once had a personal clothes shopper. Are there personal chair shoppers? Oh, that’s called a decorator. But decorators learn about style, not comfort. I’ve looked through the online portfolios for decorators in our area and didn’t see a single recliner.
In my research, I also found out that I sit wrong. (3) I cross my legs. According to Dr. Google, crossing your legs is a no-no. It stretches the band running along the side of your thigh and can cause bursitis. When I had bursitis, the doc never mentioned that. Instead, she ordered physical therapy exercises which hurt my hip even more. Geez, before they recommended the exercises you think they might have noticed I was sitting cross-legged. It wasn’t until days later I noticed the fine print on the PT exercises: “Do not continue with these exercises if they cause pain.”
But maybe we don’t need a new chair. Our friend who recently had hip surgery recommended a wedge pillow. Before I spend thousands on a new recliner, it’s worth a try. So now I’m on a search for a pillow. It’s almost as complicated as buying a new chair. There are straight hip pillows and pillows molded to fit your curves. There’s memory foam and polyester. There are plain pillows and pillows with Coccyx cutouts. But the good news is, a pillow is a lot cheaper than a chair. At least pillows won't dent my 401K like those fancy recliners! Another pillow plus - you can carry it where you need it. Hubby says his butt gets sore sitting in the meeting room chairs; he can tote his pillow wherever he needs it.
Wouldn’t you know, after I ordered the pillow, I found a pillow that looked like it would be perfect. (4) Maybe I like it because it’s purple, my favorite color. But purple would clash with my décor. So now I have the dilemma – should I cancel my order and get the fancy molded pillow?
Who thought buying chairs and pillows could be so complicated?
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