Why does a group of seniors playing cards spark controversy?
A Nextdoor* post lamented, “The board at our senior community decided we shouldn’t be allowed to use our community Living Room to play card games. Heaven forbid a realtor would bring potential buyers in and see a bunch of old folks playing cards in the middle of the day. So now we’re stuck in one of our four side rooms.”
Were these seniors playing The Sound Game, where players make noises and teammates guess what they are? If not, why the fuss?
I’ve lived in two senior communities. At the Del Webb community outside Chicago, residents played games in the Living Room—no problem. In Naples, our Living Room lacks game tables, but the lounge has plenty, used for cards, impromptu meetings, and casual gatherings.
So why does the Living Room in that other community have card tables if playing cards is forbidden?
A similar thing happened in our apartment building. We have outdoor common areas. Every Sunday six women gathered with card tables, coloring books, and pencils, chatting while we colored. One day, a resident inspected our setup. She had visitors coming the next Sunday and wanted to impress them.
First, she spotted the extension cord from our pencil sharpener. Gotta go—it’s a tripping hazard. Then, she took in our gathering and asked if we could relocate. Did we look undignified? Hardly. We weren’t in our Sunday best, but we were neat. Our books and pencils were tidy. No one was yelling obscenities.
The craziest part? We gave in and moved. The next Sunday, her guests never even passed the outdoor area.
What’s wrong with these people? Experts tout the power of connections. Our Fitness Manager says, “As humans, we are inherently social creatures, and the need for connection and a sense of community is deeply ingrained in our biology. Fostering relationships and embracing a sense of belonging is crucial for overall health and wellness.”
If younger people laughed over a card game in a shared space, they’d be seen as social and vibrant. But when older adults do the same? Suddenly, it’s an eyesore instead of a thriving community.
Is it jealousy? A fear of exclusion? In our case, everyone in the building was invited. Maybe she thought coloring was beneath her—only kids color, right? Wrong. Amazon sells hundreds of adult coloring books in categories like animals, flowers, and landscapes. Grocery stores even stock them at checkout.
Or maybe she didn’t want her friends to see the 91-year-old woman in our group. Did she make the building look too old?
Some don’t want to be reminded that they are older. For those who still see themselves as younger, seeing a grouo if seniors can trigger denial or resentment. They might think, I don’t belong in that group. Ironically, the fear of aging can keep people from enjoying the very things that make aging better.
When we moved to a continuing care community, friends said, “I’m too young for that.” Our salesman has a saying: “You can be five years too early or five minutes too late.” Sadly several of our friends became ‘five minutes too late.’ They either developed a condition that prevented them from coming or they passed away.
Or maybe these complainers suffered from the idea that the shared area should cater to their preferences, and they didn’t like playing cards or coloring. Maybe they think shared spaces should be calm and quiet. We were quiet. Mostly.
Our coloring group continued for months until one member decided she was bored with coloring and suggested we solve puzzles. Her daughter had given her some puzzles and a roll-up storage mat for Christmas. Our puzzle escapade lasted only three weeks. Even though the puzzles were easy, none of us were puzzle solvers and we got frustrated. One neighbor brought an easier puzzle. It was still frustrating and we couldn’t converse while we worked. Ditch the puzzles. Eventually, our group fizzled. But writing about it, I think I’ll start it up again.
Seeing a group of older adults can make other older adults uncomfortable—but only if they buy into the idea that aging is something to fear. Those who embrace it, laugh through it, and surround themselves with people who do the same? They’re the ones who seem to age the best.
Which camp are you in? The people who cringe when seniors cavort, or the group that encourages public displays of collection?
To see more coloring pages click HERE.
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* Nextdoor: a social networking app for neighborhoods
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