People joke about seniors going to dinner early to get the early bird special. In one Seinfeld episode, Seinfeld asked his parents who were leaving to eat dinner at 4:30, “Who eats dinner at 4:30?” His dad responds, “By the time we sit down it will be quarter til five.”
I'm all for saving money, but for seniors early bird specials aren’t only about the savings. We eat early because we need more time to digest our food before we go to bed.
Everything with seniors moves more slowly, including our digestion. We're lucky if the early bird special's offerings are partially processed before the sandman calls.
Blame those aging muscles – they're not as spry as they once were, and that includes the ones in your belly that help with digestion. This often leads to acid reflux or constipation. (1) My friend calls it the “age-adjusted factor. You have to remember to add at least 25% more time to everything you do.” Including digestion.
Last week hubby and I fell victim to the age-adjusted factor. We shared a scrumptious Monte Cristo sandwich at 5 p.m., keeping the fat and calories in mind. We were wise to eat only half. It didn’t take long before we realized even the half sandwich was a big mistake. Even half of that sandwich staged a stomach coup, refusing to yield to digestion. It clung to our insides like saran wrap, keeping us upright through the night. Ugh. Remember the good old days when we had a cast iron stomach and could eat anything we wanted when we wanted? Now we have stomachs of clay.
But seniors eating early are getting competition. Now, several news sources report that since the pandemic restaurants are as crowded at 5 p.m. as they used to be at 7 p.m. Joe Fryer, NBC Today Show, interviewed 20-somethings in a line outside Rezdôa, a trendy New York restaurant. “It is 4:45 and you are waiting outside for dinner.” They laughed, “Yes, and we’re not 75. It’s nice because the wait is shorter and the vibe is the same.” (2)
Since the pandemic, people stuck inside working were ready to get out at five. Younger people note the benefits of eating early. While aging pipes might be the reason we seniors eat early, young people realize that by eating early they have the entire night to attend concerts and parties. When we were younger, we always ate early before a concert or a play.
Jamie Lee Curtis is a notorious early bird. She thinks there should be rock concert matinees, “I would love to see Cold Play. The problem is I’m not going to see Cold Play if the show starts at 9 p.m. and there’s an opening act. That's my bedtime!”
Since the term early bird is associated with seniors many restaurants have renamed it. Jaya Saxena, the Eater, said, “Whenever I mentioned early bird to a restaurateur, they acted like “early bird” was akin to saying “Macbeth” at the theater. “It’s not an early bird!” Kevin Scully, owner of Scully’s Restaurant, practically yelled at me before I could finish asking a question about it. “It’s an early dinner!” When I asked why the difference, he said, “Because [the early bird has] has a strange, cheap context to it. Old people.” A manager at Mamma Mia corrected me when I used the term, insisting it was their “sunset menu.” “Twilight menu” is another favorite euphemism. (4) But honestly, seniors, do "sunset" and "twilight" sound a tad morbid to you? Just stick with "early bird" and embrace your seniority with style.
Getting back to senior’s sluggish stomachs, in addition to eating early, we’ve changed a lot of our eating habits. We no longer delight in our famous Chicago Deep Dish pizza. We avoid greasy foods.
So good, but hard for seniors to digest
Web MD says as you age you should avoid raw vegetables, beans, alcohol, caffeine, meat, fruit, dairy, and cruciferous vegetables. Hum – what’s left? Oh, dessert.
Raw veggies, meat, and some fruits are on the list because they might be harder to chew. My teeth are fine, thank you. Diary and caffeine can be a problem for certain people at any age. They recommend against eating beans and cruciferous vegetables because of gas. Haven’t they heard of Bean-O? Besides, I eat lots of beans and Brussels Sprouts and I don’t have a problem. But maybe you’d better get hubby’s opinion on that.
I’m suspicious of that list. It doesn’t mention the foods that bother me and it contains most of the foods experts recommend as being healthy.
In the end, we'll keep choosing early bird dinners and skip the Monte Cristo sandwiches and Deep Dish pizzas. Or maybe we'll try them for lunch – give our senior stomachs ample time for the age-related factor. After all, we may have stomachs of clay, but we've still got appetites of steel!
References
Digestive Health team, Aging and Digestive Health, Michiganmedicine.org, June 29, 2016
Joe Fryer, Have We Become a Nation of Early Birds ?, today.com, July 23, 2023
Tori Latham, The Early-Bird Special Isn’t Just for Seniors: Why Americans of All Ages Are Dining Earlier These Days, yahoo.com, July 19, 2023
Jaya Saxena, The Extinction of the Early Bird, eater.com, Jan 29, 2018
Reviewed by Christine Mikstas, RD, LD, Avoiding Problem Foods as You Age, WebMD.com, November 11, 2021
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