A senior’s Christmas wish list is different than someone younger. We don’t want stuff. Most of us have downsized and don’t have room for the stuff we have. If we get something, we probably have to throw something else we love away (probably a good policy for everyone).
I don’t want jewelry. I hardly ever wear it. I don’t want to draw attention to my wrinkled neck, sun-spotted face, and sagging chest. Maybe I should ask for fillers for the wrinkles, laser treatments to erase those spots, and a boob lift. And maybe electrolysis to remove the chin hairs that seem to be sprouting lately.
Ditto perfume. My decades old bottle of Channel No. 5 still works for special occasions despite a hint of rancidity.
Clothing used to be high on the list. A special sweater or slacks I’d been eyeing but seemed too frivolous for me to buy made a great wish list item. After years of sweater gifts, my drawers overflowed and I gave away most of my sweaters when I moved to Florida. Oops, I discovered there are times even in Southern Florida when a nice heavy Irish sweater would feel good. And during the holidays, I miss my Christmas sweaters.
My new ugly sweater. Why call it ugly? It's cute
Speaking of clothes, Dave bemoans childhood Christmases filled with practical gifts like underwear and socks. From my senior vantage point, socks to complement my purple or red slacks don't sound too bad. And my underwear could use updating, too. Some nice white granny panties – just kidding.
Ornaments were once on my list of wishes. I collected crystal Christmas stars for my fancy tree and animals for my critter tree. Now the tree is crammed with ornaments. It takes almost eight hours to decorate and I have to stack multiple ornaments on a branch. This week when I decorated the tree, the song I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas played. I thought – that’s an idea – a hippopotamus ornament. But halfway down the ornament box I discovered a hippopotamus ornament so I guess I don’t need that. When I don't know what ornaments I have, it's a sign I have too much stuff. Anyway, my ornament box is full. At this stage, requesting more ornaments seems futile—especially considering I'm likely one of the few people in our senior community with a full-sized Christmas tree.
Music was another wish list item. As a teen, I’d get a new album every Christmas – Elvis, West Side Story, the Beatles. Throughout the years we changed technologies, and CDs were on my wish list. But who has space for all that stuff? All I have now is electronic playlists and using Alexa I can get anything from Pachelbel’s Canon to Happy by Pharrell Williams with a voice command.
Nowadays I ask for non-tangibles. Last Christmas I asked for a subscription to MasterClass that included writing classes from David Sedaris and Malcolm Gladwell and The Art of Storytelling by Neil Gaiman. And the big ticket item – web hosting for my blogs.
I’d love a subscription to a library that has all the services my up-north library has. I was spoiled. In addition to eBooks that I could read with my Kindle app, my up north library had Freegal (free music downloads), Lynda (online courses), Gale Courses, and Kanopy (movies, documentaries, and the Great Courses (I joked that during Covid I got a master’s in the French Revolution, a 48 session course. I gave up after the 31st lesson, so I missed the Napoleonic years). My new library has a fraction of the services so I’d love a subscription to a similar library.
To find out what other seniors might ask for, I asked Goole what seniors want for Christmas. Amazon has an ‘elderly’ Christmas list that includes magnifiers, hand or foot heaters and massagers, massagers and heaters for almost any part of your body, microwavable booties, and journal books titled ‘Crap I’ll forget unless I write it down.’ I spotted the book Old Lives Matter. I think I’ll give that to Ezekiel Emanuel who said “Life after 75 is just not worth living.” (1)
Puzzling, however, is the inclusion of 1000 Pictures of Huge Tits and Big Boobs and Pooping Pooches Calendar. Maybe they wanted to make sure we seniors were still awake as we scanned down the page.
If you can’t think of anything else, go to December 2023’s best-selling gadgets, unforgettablegadgets.com. It lists pillows that ‘give you a healthy look.’ Forget healthy, I’d like to look younger. This list includes the world's ‘first-ever self-washing, hygienic, luxury sheets. These sheets can fight bacteria, regulate temperature, and prevent the growth of odor-generating bacteria.’ The author claims she didn’t even need to shower in the morning. I hope I don’t run into that lady on the street.
So as we age we transition from tangible to intangible wishes. What we desire most now are health, family, friends, and a decluttered existence. Our Christmas wishlist reflects a shift towards appreciating the intangible joys that life has to offer.
References
J Steven S. Hall, A doctor and medical ethicist argues life after 75 is not worth living, technologyreview.com, August 29, 2019
Jessica Michelle, These Miracle Sheets Changed My Life, Micaclemade.com, May 22, 2022
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