When we were young our biggest smell worries were bad breath, stinky pits, and funky feet. Now, I’m bombarded with ads and YouTube videos warning me about the dreaded “old person smell.”
I used to laugh when my husband worried he smelled like an “old man.” I’ve never caught a whiff of that mysterious scent—whatever it is. But apparently, there’s a whole science behind it. According to a YouTube video, “old person smell” can be stale, musty, grassy, or waxy. (1) It depends on your body chemistry. Whatever, that’s how grandma’s basement smelled and I loved her basement.
Here’s the scoop: as we age, our skin dries out, the pH shifts, and we shed less skin. That changes our skin’s “Bacterial Bouquet.” The mental image of Bacterial Boquet on my skin sounds ghastly. But, believe it or not, the University of Notre Dame sells 5X7 art prints of “Bacterial Bouquet” for $25, click here.
Supposedly, we start cranking out a compound called 2-nonenal that makes us smell aged. (2) To rid old person smell the internet suggests a diet of water, green tea, citrus, and leafy greens. No red meat, alcohol, spicy foods, or dairy. So basically, tea, salad, and lemon wedges. My friend eats like that and she looks great, but do I really want to give up wine and cheese in my golden years?
They also blame meds—blood pressure pills, diabetes meds, antidepressants, and painkillers. Honestly, who among us isn’t on at least one of those?
I did a highly scientific survey (okay, I asked two friends), and none of us could pinpoint this “old person smell.” The only time I’ve noticed it was on a few very really old folks who weren’t mobile and probably hadn’t bathed in a while. So, I'm skeptical. I never watch the videos to the end, so they are probably selling a miracle pill or cream.
Here’s what I do know about smell: you can’t double-bag a cat's stool sample and expect it not to reek. I prepped for an early vet appointment—carrier on the counter, double-bagged sample next to the carrier. The cat, of course, refused to get in the carrier. We finally gave up and took the sample to the vet without the cat. When we got home my husband went to put the carrier away and grumbled, “This carrier stinks!” And our car still reeked. That smell had permeated everything. We had to throw the carrier away and fumigate the car.
On top of worries about smell, ads say seniors start to “let themselves go”—no makeup, no hair styling. (3) There’s a story of a woman who used to be chic and snazzy, then one day she started to slip. No makeup. It went downhill from there. Skipped hair appointments. Wore comfortable, dowdy clothes. That’s basically me now. My mom would be horrified. She always said I wouldn’t leave my room without makeup. But since retiring, I’ve been giving my skin a “break.” Now I occasionally show up to community meetings bare-faced, age spots and all. The irony? Makeup would cover the spots, but it also cakes in my wrinkles. Can’t win.
People on Classmates.com remind me that I used to be well-dressed in high school. Now? I wear sweats most days. But times have changed. Back then, girls had to wear skirts or dresses to school, even on college finals day. Now students wear jeans with holes.
Yesterday, I was cold, so I pulled black leg warmers over my white pants. I forgot to take them off before going to dinner in our community restaurant. A friend called it a “striking image”—black on white. Was he being kind or sarcastic? I think I looked like a dork or an extra from a 90s workout video.
Even here in Florida, where casual reigns, some women still pull off polished, put-together looks. We used to dine with a woman in her mid-90s who showed up like she was going to a five-star restaurant—full makeup, flawless outfit. Impressive.
Recently, our community celebrated its anniversary with a black-tie optional dinner. My friend dusted off his old tux—it still fit! My husband skipped the tux since we signed up for the 4 p.m. seating because we were going to a concert after dinner. A tuxedo at 4 p.m. felt excessive. Plus, his tux doesn't fit anymore. But that’s good news—he's lost 45 pounds on Ozempic!
Honestly, if he wore a tux, I'd be in trouble. I don’t own a skirt, let alone a formal dress. Hubby keeps threatening to "take me to the thrift shop for a 'fancy' outfit." I used to have a dress for weddings—a sleek, fitted sheath with a jacket. But after a few extra pounds, I looked like Lula from the Janet Evanovich books—Rubenesque and squeezed into something three sizes too small. I donated it.
So, if I want to be a stylish senior who smells great, I guess I should hydrate, eat salad, slap on some makeup, and avoid anything fun to eat. Or I could stock up on Chico’s comfortable travel wear, spritz on some cologne, and call it a day. Choices, right?
And take heart, Simon Whistler in YouTube video Do Old People Smell Bad? takes our side. He said old people don’t smell bad – just different.
References
8 suprising facts about changing body odor for older women, YouTube
Angelica Belingit, Do Older People Actually Smell Different?, Healthine.com, September 20, 2024
12 ugly things that people do as they age that now one tells you, YouTube
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