A friend asked how I keep up with exercise, especially during and after Covid. It’s difficult now that I’m retired. When I worked, I had a routine – wake up, exercise, shower… Everything was automatic. Now that I’ve retired and don’t have a routine it’s harder to exercise. Unless I have something scheduled in the morning, I hit the snooze a few times and then debate if I feel like going to the gym.
I was reminded of routine again when I was cleaning my bookcase. I picked up the book “52 Lists for Happiness.” Thinking that I hadn’t used the book, I was going to take it to the thrift shop. Except I looked and I had filled out the first list. I saw the second list, ‘list the routines in your personal life and work.’
Since I had been thinking of routines, I decided to do that list. Filling the 26 lines for that topic would have been easy when I was working. Now I listed only nine things – mostly eat and watch TV. Just so you don’t think I’ve become a slug, I don’t spend that much time eating and watching TV – those are the only things I do routinely. Everything else I do is somewhat random – no specific day or time.
After listing my routines the book wanted me to circle all the things that bring me joy and cross out all the routines I dislike. Does that instruction imply that I should stop doing things that don’t give me joy? I don’t think my friends or dentist would like me much if I stopped brushing my teeth.
Ok. Since the book is about happiness, I can see why it wants to concentrate on joy. But what about the things that don’t give me joy? Exercise might fall into that category. It doesn't particularly bring me joy.
Then I thought about the cross-stitch sampler I had in my bedroom for 30 years. The sign paraphrased Peter Pan’s author J.M. Barrie, “Happiness is not in doing what you like, but in liking what you do.” The sampler was on the wall beside the door. I looked at it frequently to remind myself that enjoyment in life is mostly about how you look at things.
For a long time, housework gave me joy. It gave me a feeling I was making our home as clean, beautiful, and livable as possible. Seeing the shiny glass table and the freshly vacuumed carpet made me feel good. Then I attended a women’s enlightenment class that likened housework to slavery. It took some of the joy out of housework. In retrospect, that belittled homemaker’s work. In fairness, they were emphasizing that housework is unpaid labor. However, the class certainly didn’t consider J.M. Barrie’s perspective.
What Barrie suggests is that people reframe how they think about what they do. Reframing is taking what seems to be a negative event or behavior and altering our perceptions of it. Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) has a reframing process. It asks: What’s the positive intent (of this activity)? What is the purpose? What is useful about it? Is there any other way I could reinterpret this activity to make it more positive?
So instead of looking at brushing and flossing as a chore, I could look at the positive intent and usefulness: my teeth feel smooth, my mouth feels fresh, and my teeth look better when I brush them. I can picture my sparkling teeth and my happy dentist. Instead of moaning about cleaning the litterbox, I can think of how my kitty likes it when the box is clean and I love bringing my kitty joy. Instead of thinking I hate getting up to exercise, I can think about how exercise energizes me for the rest of the day and I can listen to my favorite songs (many of which hubby won’t listen to).
Reframing works to make me happy when I’m doing the activity, but it doesn’t necessarily motivate me to do it. That leads me to think of Zen practice and the Nike logo – Just do it. Don’t think about it in any way, just do it.
In Karate Kid, after making a deal with the teenager he has agreed to coach, martial arts coach Miyagi makes a deal with the kid. No questions (e.g., no thinking). “Now wash the car. Then wax. Wax on, right side, wax off, left side. Breathe in through nose, out through mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe. Very Important.” In other words, no thinking, just do and breathe. I should Ignore those pesky thoughts about wanting 20 more minutes in bed.
Has all this thinking solved my friends and my questions about how to keep up exercise? Maybe. I think making it a routine is the best solution. I’ve listed some references on building routines, but it seems these are all listed for people who work – whose lives are more routine than a retired person. The days of people who work are routine – do morning before-work stuff, get to work, work, go home, eat…
The day of a retiree is not routine. Those of us in senior communities have activities, some of which are routine, e.g., balance class on Wednesday and Friday, bridge or mahjong on Tue, etc. But that’s probably less than half of our activities. The other community activities are sporadic and sometimes interfere with our routine.
So my conclusion is confusion. It seems the best tactic for me is a combination of routine – fitness center Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday – and just do it!
Now that I have that settled, it’s Sunday and I’d better hit the gym.
Epilogue
I had almost convinced myself I didn’t have time to go to the gym today. It will be a busy day. Finishing this blog and we are hosting a gourmet club tonight. After rereading this article I took my own advice – just do it! I went and shortened my workout to 40 minutes. Can I have a gold star, please?
After a while, the conclusion came to me - when it comes to exercise, thinking is bad. You can think of dozens of reasons not to and the reasons to exercise don't seem that compelling at the time.
References
Creating Healthy Routines – this is a pretty good reference.
2. Lauren McRae, How to Start a New Routine and Stick To It, Northshore University Healthcare System, September 25, 2019
A gold star for you, Sue!!!