In Florida, we're in a never-ending duel with mold and mildew. We hadn’t been here long when our maintenance guy knocked on our door. "Did you know your apartment’s humidity is 65%?" he asked. We didn’t know, but we wondered if Big Brother was watching us.
He noticed we had most of our sliding glass doors open to enjoy that Gulf breeze. "You can’t open those windows!" he warned.
“Really? We got this apartment model specifically for those doors. And now we can't open them?”
“Nope. Hold on, I’ll get you something.”
We were expecting he’d come back with a hygrometer or dehumidifier, something to help us manage the humidity. But no, he came back with the infamous MOLD MEMO. Thou shalt not open your windows. Thou shalt keep your air conditioning below 78.⁰ If mold appears, thou art to blame. No kidding.
I’m going to open the window occasionally, so we bought a high-powered de-humidifier.
The upside to all this humidity? My wrinkles are less pronounced and I’ve cut down from 10 gallons of skin cream to two bottles. The downside? My hair is always limp. At least I use the humidity as an excuse. My hair was always limp before I moved here, but people In Florida don’t know that.
This week we got our third mold memo since we moved here three years ago, This one went to all residents and came with a dire warning: mess up and you’re responsible for testing and restoration costs up to $30K. It’s scary.
My friend was the most recent remediation target. Some clothes in her closet had mildew. They moved her out of her apartment to our guest lodge to remediate her apartment. After an analysis, they’ll let her know what she can keep, what needs cleaning, and what’s heading for the trash. That's one way of getting a new wardrobe.
She told me several of her friends use Damp Rid in their closets. I jumped right on it, even though we bought a dehumidifier when we got the first mold memo. After all, I can’t deprive the cat of his ‘smell-o-vision’ (1) and we have to leave the glass door ajar so he can get back in.
One minute later my order was placed on Amazon. Next-day delivery. But in my rush, I made a few mistakes. First, I ordered what I thought were two bags, but each box turned out to be a three-pack. That’s probably enough to last us until we need assisted living. Second, I didn’t realize there were various kinds of Damp Rid, and I ordered the Time-Release Fragrance version. Third, I shook the bag to release the fragrance. Big mistake. It’s strong. One-third of Amazon customers rated the smell negatively. The rest have anosmia. Just kidding.
Our closets now smell like a men’s restroom, thanks to what my hubby calls ‘urinal cake’ scent. He says every time he walks into the closet, it makes him feel like he has to pee.
Our next-door neighbor thought we meant it smelled like urine. We explained, no it smells like the urinal cakes in men’s restrooms. They’d never heard of ‘urinal cakes.’ We thought it might be a regional term, but three of the nation’s largest retail outlets Walmart, Home Depot, and Amazon sell them.
Next, they asked, “What do people do to keep babies and pets from wanting to eat the cake? “ We explained, it doesn’t look like a slice of cake, it looks like a bar of soap. It’s the rectangular block in the back of a toilet or urinal. But I noticed from the Amazon pictures that the cakes now have protective covers, so maybe some pets and kids have stuck their heads in the toilet to eat them.
Anyway, the first few days our closets stunk like urinal cakes or mothballs. After three days, the smell is dissipating. Or I’m getting used to it. The good news is that it doesn’t seem to leave the smell on your clothes like mothballs. I hope at least the deodorizing fragrance keeps my gym shoes smelling fresher.
Apparently, there is an unscented version but now I’m stuck with six bags of the scented stuff. I suppose we use it in the storage locker.
A word of caution to my fellow Floridians: don’t overdo it with the Damp Rid. Too much of that chemical smell recently sent two EMS providers and a sheriff’s deputy in Maryland to the hospital after responding to a house where a 36-year-old man had died. (2) They sent a Hazmat team to identify the source of the chemical irritant. It seems the man was stockpiling Damp Rid. I don’t know if his trailer was really moldy or he thought he would get high inhaling the stuff. Anyway, the responders were okay, but the cause of the man’s death is still unknown. So, go easy on the Damp Rid, folks!
So there are challenges to retired life in sunny Florida: Mold, Mildew, and Chemical Smells that can send you to the hospital. Oh, I forgot. It’s hurricane season – gotta pack my evacuation bags.
References
Smell-o-vision. Our cat knows when we say Smell-o-vision we are offering to open the balcony door so he can smell what’s outside. It’s always been our joke about a technique used in theaters to inject smell into the theater while the movie is playing. See Smell-o-vision, Wikipedia.
Jeff Hager, Emergency responders released from hospital after chemical scare, wmar news, Aug 12, 2020. Watch this news story for a chuckle. It’s 2:27 long. Coming from Chicago, where they only spend 30 seconds on the latest murder, I find it amusing that news teams in smaller towns spend 2:27 seconds on DampRid.
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