Tuesday, May 9 is Lost Sock Memorial Day. You are supposed to have a minute of silence for all those lost socks, then throw out their mates. Discarding the mates seems a bit harsh, besides I always hope the mate will be found.
I’ve always had a lost sock drawer with single socks that I couldn’t match up after doing the laundry. I wonder if the socks find comfort that they are not alone wishing their mate will return someday. I wonder if they have pity parties.
When it comes to lost socks, I am not alone. According to blacksocks.com, British scientists have started investigating sock loss and discovered something incredible: ‘We lose an average of 15 socks a year. That’s 1,125 socks over a lifetime.’ 1
I'm doing pretty good according to the Lost Sock Calculator
These scientists have also developed a formula to calculate the probability of individual socks disappearing – the sock loss index. According to the index, I am way below the predicted average – which predicts that since we moved to Florida I would have almost 50 unmatched socks. I only have 10 – down from a high of 19 a few weeks ago when my lost sock drawer was overflowing. I got serious about finding the missing mates. I looked beside the washer, under the bed, emptied and cleaned the closet floor where I keep the hamper, and finally emptied our sock drawers to see if the mates snuck in there without me noticing it. I even googled to see if there was a sock mating call – there isn’t. It was worth a try.
I thought everyone experienced lost socks but when I explained Lost Sock Memorial Day to my friend she she laughed. She didn’t understand why I could possibly have a drawer allocated to unmatched socks. Her socks always match up. It turns out, she does not wear socks and her husband’s socks are all identical.
Then I showed her our sock drawers. I have over 50 pairs of socks and so does my husband. I have only a few identical pairs of socks. Mine are different styles, colors, and lengths. White exercise socks, sport socks (e.g., hiking), socks with legs that I wear with slacks, low-cut socks for shorter pants, warm socks for sitting in the air conditioning, holiday socks, socks with cats, etc. My husband has dress socks, support socks, diabetes socks, and socks for sleeping.
After trying to find mates for the socks, I decided my husband and I would cull our sock drawers. Hubby doesn’t need that many dress or work socks anymore. He removed 19 pairs. I’ll work on mine, too, but my socks give me a bit of happiness. Even though you can’t see the low-cut socks in my shoes, I like that my socks match my clothes. I get a special delight out of wearing the kitty socks my friends gave me, or the Christmas socks with bells on them. And even though I don’t wear them that often, I’m not getting rid of my thick thermal socks.
Socks that make me happy
My friend’s husband asked, “Where do the lost socks go?” The snarky answer is, “If I knew where they went I could find them.” But no one knows. Theories include getting lost under the drum (there can’t be the scientifically estimated 50 lost socks per year under the drum). Some say the washer eats them, or they slide down the wastewater hose (again, unlikely).
My friend asked if the cat hides them. I’ve never noticed that my cat is interested in socks. Strings, yes. As I walked past him in my robe, he grabbed the long end of the belt that was hanging down and pulled it off the robe. I suppose if you have a dog, the dog might steal them and shred them.
Hidden under furniture? I seem to be able to find a fuzzy cat toy that got lost under the sofa or hutch, why can’t I find a size 13 sock?
Is it possible that unbeknownst to us sock makers have planned obsolescence, like the Mission Impossible “this sock will disappear after 20 wearings.” But then wouldn’t they both disappear at the same time?
My theory is they sneak off into hyperspace looking for a better life than being crushed under a sweaty, stinky foot. Then they get off in the cruel world and a car runs over them and smooshes them into a puddle. Maybe that could be the solution to potholes – instead of throwing the socks away, recycle them as pothole fillers. Perhaps the Humane Society will accept them as dog toys.
One solution could be the trend of wearing mismatched socks. My niece has been wearing unmatched socks for years. But there are rules.2 They should be the same style. You can’t wear a low-cut sock with a sport sock. This website also says there is a trend of wearing unmatched earrings. That’s wonderful – I have several single earrings. I’ll get right on that.
Mismatched sock fashion sense- Do This (Left), Not This (Right)
To make matters worse, several sock brands have started labeling their socks with L and R. So even though I bought 5 pairs of identical socks, theoretically, I could end up with 5 ‘left’ socks. Up north, I always had several unmatched gloves. I determined the left glove was always missing – possibly because I’m left-handed and I most likely pull that glove off when I need dexterity, then lay it somewhere and forget it.
But unlike gloves, I don’t take off socks in public, so the missing sock has to be somewhere in the house. I guess some people do take their socks off in public. Someone asked Reddit if taking off socks in public was normal behavior since her friend takes off her socks in public places such as movies or restaurants. In the words of one responder – ‘gross.’3
So no matter how you spend Lost Sock Memorial Day, have fun. I say have a Margarita toasting those errant socks who escaped a life of torture under stinky feet.
Miscellaneous Sock Facts:
They call unmatched socks orphans, but wouldn’t they be mates, or twins, or siblings?
There is a Lost Sock premium coffee roaster in Seattle. I don’t know about you, but there’s something about the image of a stinky lost sock that doesn’t make me want coffee.
According to Blacksocks.com, socks were invented by the Greeks in the 8th century BC. It must have been ok to wear socks with sandals back then.
Some suggestions for the unmatched socks: household rags, I suppose you could make sock puppets or sock monkeys – yes people still have sock monkeys.
40 Different Kinds of Socks (and I thought I had a lot of socks)
References
Lost Sock Index, Blacksocks.com
What’s up with the Mismatched Socks Trend? SockRepublic.com, November 16, 2022
Removing Socks in Public, Reddit.com
Lauren Prio, 10 clever ways to use an orphan sock, GoodHousekeeping.com, April 22, 2106
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