Help - My Kids Don't Want My Stuff

Do you have too much stuff? When you move to a new, smaller environment, is it hard to rid yourself of the stuff? Have you invited your kids to "take what you want?” For the most part, Your kids don't want your stuff.

They don’t want anything they have to hand wash, polish or iron. Our china, our crystal, our our silver, our tablecloths. The things we collected when got married because it seemed like a it would become an heirloom, or just because it was on the list of things for a bride to do. None of that stuff fits into their lifestyle.

Your kids don't want your china

The census bureau estimates there are 70 million baby boomers. Guessing only 40% of people my age gave away their china when they downsized, that means there are at least 28 million sets of china, crystal and silver languishing in thrift stores. Many thrift shops give unsold items to other thrift shops. At some point, with all the excess china in the US, I picture vans roving the country looking for a home for the unsold china. There’s always Replacements.com. They buy china.

Vans roving the US filled with unwanted china

Or you can repurpose your china. Dysfunctional Designs is just one of many blogs dedicated to “upcycled, innovative and repurposed art.” The blogger sells recycled jewelry pieces made from china for $65. If you decided to make jewelry out of your china you’d need china with a pretty pattern. My china doesn’t have a pattern– it just has a platinum rim. Assuming your china pattern has 10 nice designs around the rim and you have a place setting for 12 (12 dinner plates, 12 bread plates) you’ll have to make about 240 pieces of jewelry and that only gets rid of the plates. You’re still stuck with the cups and bowls. Oh, and you’ll also need a hammer, a grinder, wire, chains or pin backs, and other supplies – more stuff. And a place to do the work. So maybe making repurposing china into jewelry is not a great way to get rid of your china. But just in case you are still interested, Pinterest has 600 Broken China Jewelry ideas.

Jewelry made from broken china

When my father moved from his house to an apartment, he asked what I wanted. It probably surprised, and perhaps disappointed, him when all I wanted a set of aluminum coasters with Scotty dogs on them and a divided crudité dish that mom put carrots, celery and olives on for the holidays. They brought back memories of happy family times. And they were small. (Note: I had scanned all the family photos years before that).

Vintage aluminum coasters (Dad's had Scotty dogs)

When we made our last downsized move in 2020, we got rid of half of our stuff. Mostly through garage sales and thrift stores. I have no children so I asked my younger sisters what they wanted. They wanted only two things – my great grandmother’s clock and my grandmother’s decorative wedding certificate.

Decorative wedding license popular in early 1900s

As it turns out, after we moved we found out we needed to get rid of a lot more stuff. Since we moved into our 2-bedroom apartment last year, I’ve taken 3 moving boxes and about 15 contractor-size bags to thrift stores. Our closets and storage lockers are still packed.

I’ve read books and blogs for help. Marie Kondo’s credo “keep only what gives you joy” only works to a point. My coffee maker doesn’t bring me joy, but I’m not getting rid of it.

Some decluttering websites offer a list of 20 things you can get rid of right now – things like old coupons, old calendars, old menus. That must be for younger people, I don’t have any of those.

Then there’s the advice to get rid of stuff you haven’t used it in the last 6 months or year. There’s a number of reasons I kept things I hadn’t used in over a year. I have a couple of boxes of party supplies: Margarita Day, Cinco de Mayo, Pi Day, the holidays. I hadn’t used them in the past two years because of avoiding parties due to Covid. But I hope to use them soon.

Decluttering websites and books warn also against the “I might use it some day” syndrome. I keep two shelves of stuff, mostly handcrafts, because I might use it some day. Today I’m active. But I’m afraid that when I’m confined to the 1900s cane seat rocking chair my grandma gave me, they won’t be selling needlecraft kits. At least that’s my excuse for keeping the stuff. Some of the crafts are sentimental. They were leftovers from mom’s projects that I found in her sewing cabinet after she died. Oops, I guess there’s some irony there.

One of mom's craft kits. She made these for us kids.

Besides, I don’t like the word declutter. My house is not cluttered. My stuff, for the most part, is neatly stored. Jam packed, but neat… Am I rationalizing?

After writing this, I’m starting on the snowball technique right now. Get rid of one thing today, two things tomorrow, etc. According to the website, the snowball technique “allows you to start slow, and it’s surprisingly effective — after snowballing for just one week, you’ll have gotten rid of 28 things. And if you keep it up for 30 days, you’ll declutter a pretty astounding 465 items from your home.” But if I get rid of two things today, does that mean I have to get rid of four things tomorrow? Or does it mean I only need to get rid of one thing tomorrow? The decisions and record keeping overwhelm me. I need a margarita! Oops, I got rid of my margarita glasses.