Funny thing about downsizing. When we moved to Florida, we had shed tons of stuff. Turns out, we barely made a dent. I’ve been hauling boxes to thrift stores and still could shed more.
But here’s the kicker – I’m still buying things! Just last Friday, I donated a bag but couldn't resist some charming, colorful "Florida" plates at 50% off. Seven dinner plates and six salad plates for $20! Lucky me. I have a place to store them because I recently cleared space in the hutch by donating some games.
My friend says, “I don’t buy much anymore. only what is needed. Yet when we went to the thrift stores lately during a rain storm for something to do I found 8 new water glasses I just had to have. Most of my everyday glasses were mismatched. These matched and were sturdy. At least I don't have to crawl up on a stool and take down my good stemmed goblets when I have company. Those should go but no one wants them? So they sit on the shelf. Taking them to Goodwill doesn’t seem right.”
Before we moved I donated most of my crystal to an upscale thrift store. I often wonder if anyone ever bought it. It seems no one wants China and crystal anymore. Handwashing is out and life is more informal nowadays. I kept my China. I still use it a few times a month.
Downsizing is a guessing game. I don’t have a great track record. I frequently regret donations. Like when I ditched half of my napkin collection. Then I found some perfect-sized soup bowls for our cooking club's chicken and slickers, and thought, "I have the perfect napkins for these!" Oops, they were long gone.
When we moved we sold a large stand mixer thinking our baking days were over. Wrong. A year later we bought a smaller refurbished mixer because hubby got tired of using a hand mixer to work cookie dough. We never ate cookies up north but now we serve them at game night.
Another misjudgment came when we sold our hutch thinking there wasn’t room for it in our new home. Since we moved too much stuff and we needed a piece of furniture by the entryway, we ended up buying another hutch – at a thrift store, of course.
I also can’t tell you how many times I’ve grabbed for a top in the closet only to discover I've already donated it. I should make a new rule. When I donate, I should donate the tops and pants together.
Sometimes I have to laugh at my downsizing debacles. When my friend and I were at the thrift store we laughed at all the sifters. One rusty sifter looked like it had been in a garage for decades. I shouldn't have laughed. On one of my cleaning binges recently, I took our sifter to the thrift store. It seemed we never used it. Last Saturday we decided to make Pecan Sandies and guess what we needed: a sifter. It seems I’m always getting rid of stuff I need later. That’s what makes clean-outs so scary.
With my track record for donations, I was nervous about donating extra towels and blankets to the local animal shelter. I told my friend, don’t let me go in, I’ll probably come out with a carload of pets like Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners. When Ralph returns a puppy his wife brought home he walks out with three dogs when he finds they will be euthanized. (1) I was sure if I went in some cat or dog would look at me with those big eyes and I’d feel badly for leaving them. Sure enough, a dog heard me and began jumping up to the window barking, "Please notice me." Thank heavens he was a big dog or I might have been tempted.
According to The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, you should clear out stuff as you age so your family doesn’t have to. (2) Author Margarita Magnusson says death cleaning is a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly. She says, You know you need to get rid of stuff when are grateful when a visitor cancels because you’d have too much to tidy up." It’s a sign you have too much stuff. I guess having things stacked on top of each other is also a sign I’ve got too much stuff.
I also read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. (3) ‘Tidying’ expert Marie Condo admits she went too far in her initial guidance to keep ‘only those things that bring you joy.’ You bet! My stinky sneakers don’t give me joy, but I need them to exercise. She admits that her initial thoughts about tidying and clutter have changed now that she has kids. Different things bring you joy at different times in your life.
The idea of having things that bring you joy can backfire. I get joy from setting a beautiful table. Each month we host an opera viewing and a themed potluck dinner. I like having a unique décor, so this year I’ve bought four new table runners. I tell myself, “They don't take up space, and they bring me joy.” But let’s face it, that’s not exactly keeping only what you need.
So many of my attempts at downsizing have backfired – I keep buying stuff to replace what I donated. I’m wondering rather than worrying about someone having to get rid of my stuff, I can name a thrift store as my beneficiary. Or maybe prepay a business to do that. I see companies like Junk King and Silver Solutions. Whew, I can stop worrying.
References
Ralph Returns a Puppy to the Pound, YouTube, The Honeymooners, 1956.
Margareta Magnusson , The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, Scribner, January 2, 2018
Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, Ten Speed Press, October 14, 2014
Comments