Do You Have a Story to Tell?

My neighbor wants to write a book about her life, and she’s had an exciting one. She traveled the world with her husband, a doctor, who led the Naval Medical Research Unit in the 70s and 80s.

Another neighbor wrote her autobiography, a 250-page book entitled I Won’t Be Left Behind. This book tells her life story, including the challenges she faced because her parents announced they could only afford to send her twin brother to college, even though she had earned a full scholarship. This experience motivated her to succeed and advocate for equality. She said writing her story, “had a cathartic effect, to write down a lifetime of emotions. I was surprised at how many emotions still linger.”

Many people want to share their life stories with their families or to explore and understand their life's journey through writing. It can even be a therapeutic process. There are different ways to do this, like writing a full autobiography, a memoir focused on a specific time or theme, or even a 20-page letter. (1) You can include photos or keep it text-only, depending on your preference.

Does writing about your life seem daunting? It might not be as daunting as it seems. Begin by writing a little at a time. For example, Each week, I write about 800 words for this blog. It takes 6-8 hours including editing and pictures. In 14 months, I’ve written 72 blogs totaling 62,000 words. According to Strike the Write Tone, by Trish Lockard, that’s a good size for an autobiography (about 60,000 – 80,000 words). (2) But Lockard also notes that it should be as short or long as it needs to be to tell your story.

Before you start writing, think about your approach. Are you someone who likes to plan and work from an outline, or do you prefer to let your thoughts flow freely onto the page? (3) Either method can work. Some famous authors, like Joyce Carol Oates, are planners, while others, like Stephen King, are more spontaneous.

If you're a spontaneous writer, you may not experience writer's block, but you might spend more time editing. If you're structured and work with an outline, you'll likely need less editing, but writer's block could be a challenge.

Getting ideas

For my blog, I use two sources to trigger my thoughts: a file with anecdotes and my journal entries. I record ideas that intrigue me in an anecdote file. Sometimes it’s just a prompt phrase such as Ping Pong Waiver or Heart Rate 150.* The anecdote can also be a paragraph or a half page – such a free association when I was thinking about hubby being an engineer and examples of his need for precision.

Sample from Anecdotes file

The journal entries are free association writing, anything that came to my mind on that day. I title each entry so I scan those entries looking for ideas to develop for a specific blog.

You can ask your family what they’d like to know about you. You can also ask relatives or friends to help you. Give them assignments – have a sibling tell the story of something he or she remembers about you.

Sample of Journal Entry Liat

What to write

How do you decide what to include in your life story? Start by defining your purpose and audience. (4) Are you writing primarily for yourself, your family, or a broader audience? Are you seeking to inspire, educate, or simply preserve your memories? Your goal will shape the themes and events you emphasize and will guide your decisions about the depth of personal information to include. While sharing personal challenges, triumphs, and even vulnerabilities can add depth to your narrative, you should only include what you feel comfortable with.

You can record your stories on the computer, use phone voice memos, or video your life story rather than write it. Or you can write your story by hand. Some famous authors insist writing by hand makes them think more about how the story is developing. (5) You can also use a ghostwriter. (6) Finally, you’ll probably want to find an editor to polish your story.

Finding pictures

My friend worried that she hadn’t taken pictures of her travels. There are many ways to get pictures for your story. You can ask relatives. You might also find pictures on the internet. I found one friend’s high school and college yearbooks. You can find pictures of previous houses with a Google search on the address (e.g., 123 Main Street, city, state). Google Maps will pop up with a picture of the home. The search results listing may also include real estate apps such as Zillow and Trulia with pictures of a past home.

Google past address: 1127 Anystreet, Evansville, IN

You can also Google the cities you’ve lived in to find pictures of your hometown. You can specify a decade, e.g., “Evansville, Indiana in the 1960s.” After you google, click the images button and you'll see images that fit your search.

Google - Evansville, Indiana 1960s, Community Center held dances for teenagers on Friday nights

So don't let be intimidated by the thought of writing your life's story. Start writing a little bit at a time. Record a list of memories that are important to you. Ask your relatives about things they remember. And use resources like the internet to help fill in the blanks. You'll be surprised how your stories will build in a short period of time. And it will be fun and cathartic writing them down.

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*The anecdote file – the stories behind two of my keyword prompts

Ping Pong Waiver – When we moved into our current community, they gave us a book with all the amenities in the community. I noticed a Ping Pong Waiver we had to sign to use the Ping Pong table. I thought that the idea of a Ping Pong waiver was hilarious, but it reminded me that in my 30s I broke my 5th metatarsal playing ping pong. Apparently the first day the ping pong table was available in our community, a senior fell and broke his hip. So I guess a Ping Pong Waiver isn’t so silly after all.

Heart Rate 150 - Hubby was in the emergency room with a TIA. After we’d been there for a while they wheeled in a 40-ish man. Even though they pulled the curtain we hear the conversation. The man was a weekend warrior, riding his bike with some friends. He was using a heart rate monitor for the first time. He panicked because his heart rate reached 150 beats per minute. Hubby and I laughed. Having run and used heart rate monitors for decades, we knew that a heart rate of 150 is at the high end of aerobic for a 40-ish man. It’s interesting the doctors didn’t tell him that.

References

1. Rachel Meltzer, Memoir vs. Autobiography: What’s the Difference?, Grammarly.com, June 7, 2022

2. Trish Lockard, How Long Should a Memoir Be?, Strikethewritetone.com, June 29, 2021

3. Caleb A. Robinson, Famous Authors on Outlining a Novel - Should You Do It?, writingcooperative.com, December 16, 2018 you’ll have to register, but you can have a free account. I use a junk email address to register for things like this.

4. 9 Reasons Why You Should Write an Autobiography, thewritersforhire.com,

5. Ephrat Livni, Old-school writing tools will boost your creativity, concentration—and speed. April 14, 2019.

Resources

1. Google ‘getting ideas for writing an autobiography.’ You’ll get thousands of ideas from how to get ideas to writing classes. The top, sponsored (ads), section listed a Grammarly AI tool for writing autobiographies.

Google 'AI help for writing autobiography'

1. Google Ghostwriters near me and editors near me. To find ghostwriters or editors. Note: Use friends or relatives who will do the first edits to save on editing fees.