Recently our community held a seminar: ‘Demystifying Senior Living’. I wondered why people thought senior living was mystifying. I wanted to attend out of curiosity, but I wasn’t allowed. Apparently, I’m already demystified since I live in the community. But I would have loved to sneak into the back to hear people’s questions.
Communities like ours might need demystifying. Many people believe that residents of these communities are egocentric pleasure-seekers and that everyone has STDs. In Leisureville, author Andrew Blechman says, “This generation (read our generation) loves to party, they’ve been partying all their lives.” Leisureville is a somewhat scathing view of senior communities. He spent a month in Florida's Villages and came out with tales of endless parties and a community that's like a fortress against noisy kids. Blechman picked what might be the most non-representative senior community in the US.
Once completely owned by the H. Gary Morse family, the Villages are insular. They have their own TV stations, radio stations, and newspapers. They have no schools. Blechman says: “The Villages provides residents with something else they crave—a world without children. It’s not that seniors don’t like noisy children running around. With no children, the community pays no taxes to support schools.”
Blechman continues, “No clever euphemism can hide the fact that these communities are based on a selfish and fraudulent premise—the exclusion of children and families. And no amount of volunteerism and continuing education courses—however admirable or enriching—can compensate for the high societal price of this exclusionary lifestyle.”
Ouch! After reading Leisureville I worry what people think about me and my fellow residents. No wonder so many youth think seniors cause a ‘high societal price.’
The Villages is non-representative because most other senior communities are imbedded in a city and do pay local taxes for schools. As a three-county entity, the Villages have their own government. And while the Villages has their own media most other senior communities rely on local or national TV and radio stations and newspapers. We pick the media of our choice.
Blechman calls Villages residents ‘sequestered’ because they don’t need to go outside the ‘compound’ for goods and services and can live the rest of their lives inside the community.
Residents of most senior communities are far from being sequestered. Most senior community residents shop at city shops and go to local cultural events such as plays and concerts, etc. And despite having one meal included in our plan, we enjoy visiting local restaurants. That reminds me of the story our concierge tells. One night she she got a call from a local restaurant: “I wanted to report that six of your residents are in our restaurant.” The concierge laughed, “Our residents are allowed to go anywhere they please. Most of them are very capable.” For those who can no longer drive, our community transports residents to the grocery store, the theatre, and similar downtown events. And our community is not totally devoid of children. It’s Florida. Guess where grandkids come for vacation?
As a comparison, the Villages covers three counties and has almost 80,000 people. Our senior community has 780 people in a metropolitan area of .5 million.
Blechman does point out some of the benefits of living in a community or with your peers. Older residents who don’t live in a senior community can become isolated in their neighborhoods. If the majority of neighborhood residents work, the senior is alone during the day and most likely at night when their neighbors are with their families. If the senior can no longer drive, they become further isolated.
Last week our dinner group was talking about why we chose to live in a continuing care community. It's about companionship, understanding, and yes, sparing progeny the stress of becoming our full-time caregiver. One lady described it beautifully, “when we decided to move here, we sent our kids a letter telling them about our decision. Our last sentence was, ‘This is our gift to you.’”
Yes, our community advertises itself as resort-style living and promotes the amenities. But behind all the slick advertising is the fact that one day we might need the facilities and services provided by a continuing care community. In the meantime, we can enjoy an active life within our city and with fellow residents.
Back to the Demystifying seminar. I wonder if anyone asked these questions I found on the internet:
"Can I get a discount if I promise not to talk about my medical ailments?"
"Do they have speed dating events for seniors?" (maybe at the Villages)
So maybe because of how senior communities are perceived, we do need to be demystified. And to Mr. Blechman, next time, take a broader look, buddy. We're not just a bunch of party animals causing "high societal prices." We're your neighbors, we pay local taxes, and hey, we might just be your future!
Epilogue
Not only do our residents pay local taxes, they support local causes. Last year residents awarded over $80,000 in continuing education scholarships. We support local groups such as the Conservancy, the Senior Center, and food banks. It hurts that we are as perceived as selfish partiers who ‘cause a high societal price.’
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