I’m not sure I even know what set in their ways means. So I Googled it. Google says, “behaving in the same way over many years and not wanting to change. ChatGPT* says sticking to favorite habits and routines can make you comfortable.
I have a daily routine. I sleep and eat mostly at the same time every day. I exercise before I eat breakfast. Change the sheets on Monday. My list of routines goes on.
On the other hand, I like the excitement of trying new things.
Food, for example. We used to whip up new recipes every month. Our recipe collection changed more often than fashion trends. These days, our community feeds us dinner, but Sundays are our playground for cooking experiments. We're in a cooking club and throw opera-themed potlucks. Our new favorite? Lemon Pesto from 177Milk Street. It's made with lemon zest, almonds, and parmesan – yum! But you have to figure out what to do with four lemons because you only use the zest. Maybe lemonade, whisky sours, Chicken Piccata, or a lemon méringue pie.
Then there’s music. I have a friend that is stuck in the 50s and 60s. Doesn’t budge. Some friends at least broadened their horizons into the 70s, 80s, and 90s. We do have a preference for songs of our youth that bring back cherished memories. Studies show that music that’s familiar can calm dementia patients and make them less agitated. (1)
My musical tastes run the gamut from opera and classical to rock, pop, grunge, and even some hip-hop and rap. The latter two are only a small percentage of my music library. I choose music for the mood and activity. Hip-hop and rap boost my weight-training efforts, helping me to ignore the discomfort and keep a steady pace. And for a steady, speedy walking pace I like songs from later decades with hard, steady beats. (2)
Strength Training Playlist - I'm guessing many of you don't know these songs
When it comes to technology, some residents in our community don’t even use email. It baffles me. I would feel so isolated without email, texts, Facebook, etc. Email helps me keep up with work pals, neighbors, and traveling friends from the past. I still communicate with a friend from 56 years ago. Without email, the only way of connecting would be by phone or letter. If I had to write letters to my friends, my friend list would shrink to one or two, or maybe even zero.
Age isn’t an excuse for avoiding technology. When I ask neighbors, out of curiosity, “What do you use your device for?” The answer is as varied as teenage hair colors. I saw Helen, my 90-something neighbor swiping her phone. Helen uses her phone for emails and texting and gets her news on her phone or tablet. “Email and texts are the only way I communicate with my family and relatives.”
Other people use their devices for games, finances, and making restaurant reservations. And of course, Google. I wouldn’t know anything if it weren’t for Google.
Helen has great advice, “Tap buttons, try stuff out. If one button doesn’t work, try another. Kids are tech whizzes because they're fearless.” Hubby thinks folks avoid tech because they get frustrated when tech doesn’t work immediately.
Despite some frustration, tech is my secret weapon for getting things done quickly. Recently I had to identify duplicates between two long lists. While I only use Excel sporadically for simple lists, I Googled to see if Excel could do it. Voilà! Google led me to the solution, even if I had to look at several different websites and had a few failed tries. I'll take trial and error over tedium any day. Besides the results were more accurate.
Excel highlights duplicates - imagine having to search a 1,000-item list
I had ah-ha! I use technology because of the payback: More communication with friends, less paper, and making tedious tasks easy. And because I know the payback, I’m willing to put up with the frustrations of learning something new.
Seniors avoid technology for various reasons, including fear of scams and concerns about privacy, as well as the risk of isolation when we substitute screen time for real conversation. A restaurant owner noticed this trend, saying, "I've observed people arriving to celebrate special occasions, but once seated, their phones immediately take center stage."
Phone use in restaurants can be especially annoying. In a senior community, where some people don’t hear as well as they once did, we occasionally get bombarded with people on speakerphone shouting at each other.
Archibald: Yes, how’s your day?
Hortense: Awful. Did you hear about Linda’s cat Fluffy?
Archibald: No. What happened?
Hortense: She ate the flower arrangement and now she’s puking all over the place you should see her. Running around… (continuing with graphic descriptions of Fluffy’s spewing episodes). Fluffy made such a mess they had to call the community's feces truck to clean the carpet.**
Ugh! Nobody wants to hear that while they’re eating.
While it’s against restaurant policy to have phone conversations, restaurant staff can be too busy to notice while everyone around them has their peaceful dinner ruined. You don't need to be tethered to your phone. Simply power it down or switch it to silent mode.
When it comes to tech, QR (Quick Response) codes are my new love, So simple, that even a preschooler can use them. No more typing lengthy web addresses – just aim your camera and tap. Bam! You're on the website. Try it yourself, below. But there are QR code scams. Scammers can tamper with codes in order to steal your personal or financial information. In some cases, they paste a fake QR code over a real one, or they may send you a QR code directly, via text or email. In public, make sure the QR code isn’t taped over. For devices, if you use QR codes in public places, you can get a free QR Scanner-Safe app from TrendMicro. Or don't click on QR codes unless you know the sender,
QR code for Nat Geo's photo ark - amazing animal photos
But back to getting stuck in your ways. There are many reasons why people stick to their favorite habits and routines. They've learned what works for them and they like to stick with it. It’s comfortable.
It's not really about age; it's about staying open to new experiences and changes throughout our lives. So, if you ever catch yourself saying, "I don't want to change," remember that trying something new can offer a payback. You may find a new favorite dish, uplifting song, or tech shortcut to make life easier. Learning new things helps your brain and boosts emotions, giving you a sense of accomplishment when you’ve tackled something new.
I’m addicted to change and learning. I understand I might be at the far edge of the same–change spectrum. But I sometimes worry about seniors getting stuck. When does “being set in your ways” become stagnation or shutting down? Or am I just blind to the advantages of being set in your ways?
Epilogue
Congratulations! You are not set in your ways. You are reading this blog! Forty-three percent of you read this blog on your mobile device, while 54% use your desktop. You are not a technophobe!
References
Art and Music, alz.org,
Can music make you a better athlete?, pbs.org, August 8, 2018
Joelle Renstrom, Why Older People Really Eschew Technology; It’s not because they can’t use it., Slate.com, July 13, 2020
Leslie Gaydos, Think Before You Scan – Scammers Can Use QR Codes to Steal Your Information, nbcboston.com, January 25, 2023
QR Code Security: What are QR codes and are they safe to use?, us.kaspersky.com
Other Blogs on Set in Their Ways
Connie Mason Michaleis, Set in My Ways, July 23, 2019
Tom Lind, Set in My Ways, The Townhouse Rules, July 25, 2018
*ChatGPT - ChatGPT is an Artificial Intelligence (AI) chatbot that uses natural language processing to create humanlike conversational dialogue. ChatGPT lets users enter prompts or questions to receive human-like text created by AI. You can ask ChatGPT questions, just like Google, or you can ask it to generate a sentence or story (e.g., write me a story about a senior who doesn't want to change). I started using ChatGPT two months ago to inform my writing. When I'm stuck, I'll enter a sentence and ask ChatGPT to give me other ways of saying it. I do not use ChatGPT to write the blog. Let me know if you'd like a blog on what ChatGPT can do and how I use it in my writing.
** Our community actually has a truck they call the feces truck. Our neighbor called to have a spill on their carpet cleaned and they said they'd send the feces truck. It sounded so awful, that they decided to call someone from the outside to clean their carpet.
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